I never realized how much I loved her until I started waking up at night crying for her. I am so sad to see what Satan is doing to her, what others are doing to her, and what she’s doing to herself. I saw it all yesterday. I saw the look on her face and she is so tired, so sick with affliction and the flu, so hopeless, and so not the sister I know. All I could do is hug her and listen to her cry.
Her and I were close and we kind of grew apart as she slipped into addiction, but for a while when we come together we would talk like nothing changed. Until recently, she hasn’t been the same. It hurt that she believed that I would be out to hurt her. It hurt to see her not talk as much, and her conversations became darker and angrier. I’m crying now thinking about it. I really miss the way we made each other laugh. Looking at this in someone else’s view I know this is how other’s hurt and think too.
I took a moment today to try and stop crying about her so I headed over to read from my favorite blog “Fierce Marriage” and the title “Peace of Jesus” Pops up. I began reading and I see one of my favorite verses:
John 14:26-27 (ESV) “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to you remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
The author, Selena Frederick goes on to say, “Understanding the peace of Jesus and how different it is than the peace of this world is powerful” (Fredrick, 2017). I know that in my hurting heart for my sister, and in my sister’s hurting heart for various reasons that have led to her addiction, the only peace that she or I or anyone will ever receive can only come from Jesus. It’s a peace received when you are alone in thought and the only thing you can think about is giving it to God because you know only he can take away the hurt.
Please Lord, I beg you to give the peace that comes with knowing you to my sister and every person afflicted with addiction. Let you be the only thing they crave. Let them all think of you as their cure, their savior, and their father. Lord bring them home. Bring back my sister, and everyone with this terrible affliction, to their families. Lord give them the peace that comes with knowing you.
In Jesus Name,